reflection + celebration post number four: what i have learned.

to conclude this four post series, i've taken a few minutes to write down my thoughts about a few things that i've learned over the last year of being a brand new parent. 

baby blues are real.
-having a winter baby born in the coldest chicago winter in recorded history, living in a basement apartment with a husband in the hospitality industry is NO BUENO. with the feelings of excitement and love towards my new baby, there were mixed feelings of bitter sadness and feeling depressed. i never really reached out for help for it and eventually overcame it on my own, but it wasn't easy. i wish i had reached out for help, which leads me to my next point.

ask for help.
-there is no shame or harm done in asking for help, something i wish i would've done more. i so badly wanted to call someone to occasionally come and watch liam for an hour or two to get some much needed sleep during those first few months, but never wanted to burden anyone. i know now that there is no harm in asking for help with meals, cleaning, and getting a little nap in. i know also to return the favor to other moms who need that extra help as well. 

don't be judgmental to other moms.
-this is a BIG no-no. mothers have the right to choose what is best for their children, and should be able to do so without people knocking them down for it. you never know what they are going through, and if anything, they could use some positive encouragement rather than a negative criticism. being a mother is hard work, and they are learning how to be a parent just as much as the next person. 

there are times when i have no idea what to do, and that's okay!
-sadly, there isn't a handbook perfectly written out explaining your child's needs, wants, proper nap times, favorite foods, etc. it is all up to you to make the best decisions possible, which can be extremely daunting, and you make mistakes! this is what parenting is all about. you make decisions, you learn the consequences good or bad, and you learn. i had a good friend tell me something that has stuck with me- she said for me to remember that just because i feel overwhelmed doesn't mean that i'm doing a bad job, i am helping to sustain the life of a human being that i created and gave birth to and everything that i do is so meaningful and important. isn't that such a powerful reminder? when things don't go as you planned, cut yourself some slack. it's all going to be just fine! 

take time for your spouse.
-i can't say this enough. take time to go out on dates with your spouse, help them to feel loved and cared about even if you've been cleaning up messes and changing stinky diapers all day and don't have any more energy to muster. DO IT. we had our fair share of stressed out, exhausted arguments that could've been avoided with a little extra love, care and acts of service. it doesn't have to be anything extravagant. it could be something as simple as making their favorite dessert, or sending a sweet lovey dovey text message, or taking out the garbage (even though it's your least favorite chore). any of these things and more will help to make your spouse feel loved, and appreciated. 

i have learned so much this year about being a better parent, a better wife, and a better me. we are human beings and we make mistakes, but we learn from them and become better, smarter and stronger because of them. liam has helped me to realize that. he is a happy, thriving human being with interests and is learning every single day, and there is no greater joy in knowing that we've helped him start on his journey of life. it hasn't always been easy, but is sure has been more than worth it. 

{picture credit: Hannah Fine Photography}

what other pieces of advice would you give to new parents?